My Liquid Lunches

No, I haven't been going out to the bar at lunchtime.

As you can see in the margin of this blog page, I have been dieting lately. I've lost over ten pounds and over four inches off my belly. Yay me! Of course, I was as handsome as a lab rat could be beforehand, but now I'm a slimmer, healthier rat. How have I done it? Nightly exercise (one reason I haven't been writing as much lately), lower portion sizes, and calorie restriction.

In particular, my lunches typically involve drinking a Slim-Fast shake. Chocolate. 190 calories.

Now, I went into this little endeavor of drinking my lunch with the sort of enthusiasm typically reserved for National Guardsmen headed to Iraq, and drinking my lunch each day sounded about as fulfilling as trying to defend Hillary's chances of getting the Democratic nomination. And yet, I was surprised how well these shakes sated my appetite. They are high protein and high fiber, but low calorie. A recipe for success.

What's more, they are creamy and whipped with air. Whip it, baby! Whip it good! It turns out, according to a recent study, that this is a major factor in making a diet shake work well:

http://www.physorg.com/news130069235.html

Bulking up food with water and gas extends that food's ability to satisfy an appetite for one or two additional hours. Whipped milkshakes were a good choice. But not just any gas will do. Carbon dioxide, apparently, doesn't work. Darn, there goes my Pepsi diet!

Unfortunately, the article doesn't specify which gases are best. Let's hope it's not the kind that comes out the other end.

So, tomorrow at noon, I'll pop open another cold one, drink it before the whipped air escapes, and watch my beer belly melt away.

Slurp!


Image taken from HERE.

Crap Fountains And Biosolids On Your Food

Just north of my little town is a cow farm. Every time I drive past the place I hit the little "recirculate" button on our car so that no outside air can get in. The stench is positively wretched almost any time of the year. During the winter (which I call the "rainy season" because of the climate here), the smell is somewhat tolerable as long as you drive too fast, but the cow dung is nice and soggy and fermenting. During the summer, though, the smell is overwhelming as the cow turds ripen in the heat.

And then there is a nightmare even worse than the usual nasty stench: several times in the spring and summer, all that cow crap is liquefied and pumped out over the neighboring agricultural fields in an ungodly fountain of sh*t, turning the crops dark brown with a rain of feces.

Oh – my – God! Now say with me: Ewwwwww!

Now, I know what some of you are thinking. You're thinking, "Oh, get over it, Lab Rat! It's just fertilizer in liquid form. You're a biologist. You know the value of poo for growing plants."

Fine! But I just want to say for the record that the typical cow dung fertilizer is first allowed to compost. Thus the harmful bacteria and parasites are neutralized, along with most of the foul smell.

But then I came across this wretched article, which informs me that it has been perfectly acceptable – nay, encouraged by our government! – for farmers to use human sewage and industrial sludge to fertilize their fields!

http://www6.comcast.net/news/articles/science/2008/03/06/Sludge.Poisoned.Land/

Are you f*cking kidding me?!! Has the world suddenly gone upside down? You mean to tell me that I've been eating food that has had my neighbor's crap sprayed on it? If you've ever seen my neighbor, you'd be shaking as hard as I am!

Apparently this policy has been in effect for 30 years. I'm very disappointed in Jimmy Carter!

From the article: "About 7 million tons of biosolids – the term that waste producers came up with for sludge in 1991 – are produced each year as a byproduct from 1,650 waste water treatment plants around the nation. Slightly more than half is used on land as fertilizer; the rest is incinerated or burned in landfills. Giving it away to farmers is cheaper than burning or burying it, and the government's policy has been to encourage the former."

HALF?? That's 3.5 million tons of wastewater sludge on our crops!

In addition to the risk of carrying human disease, bacteria, and parasites, the sludge has been found to contain dangerous levels of arsenic, thallium, other heavy metals, and PCBs. Plus the drugs you flush down your toilet when they expire. I shudder to think what else. Anything that can be pollutants of our waterways.

The article mentions a recent court ruling where a dairy farmer sued the government for poisoning and killing his cows, which had fed on plants fertilized with this raw sewage and sludge laced with heavy metals and PCBs. He won his case. The judge in the case said that, in addition to using questionable data for their actions and policy, "senior EPA officials took extraordinary steps to quash scientific dissent, and any questioning of the EPA's biosolids program."

Yes, this is America. Not China. Not some third world nation. Not the sewage-filled tenements of some late-night plea for helping poverty-stricken families in Latin America "for just pennies a day". No, this is the USA, where industry reigns supreme over the health and welfare of our Twinkie-eating obese citizenry. Heck, using sludge on fields is a win-win situation, right? I mean, the EPA gets to claim that they are cleaning up our waterways, and farmers get a free source of fertilizer. Wow! Genius!

The sad thing is that the product of all this a-maizing arsenic-laced miracle of modern agriculture is food direct to your supermarket, and milk from poisoned cows. Heck, it's the "cycle of poo". Once you've eaten your thallium laced food grown in crap-sprayed fields you can take a dump and start the process all over again.

Sure, the victim in that lawsuit had cows that died, but how many other cows aren't dying, but instead are merely passing along their PCB milk to you and me and our kids?

So the next time you pour yourself a glass of chocolate milk or put a pat of butter onto your ear of corn, take a quick sniff and think twice about its source. There may be more than chocolate in that glass of yours, and the yellow of your corn may hide little physiological timebombs.

As for me, the next time I drive past one of those fountains of sh*t, I'll be wondering if it truly is cow manure that's being sprayed, as I had thought, or crap from the farmer himself!


Image taken from HERE.

Saving Bridges With Chip Flavorings

I’m not a huge fan of potato chips. For one thing, I have an MSG allergy. Eating even a tiny amount of synthetic MSG gives me a raging migraine that can last for days, and nearly all brands of potato chips include it. But of the few varieties of chips that I can eat, one of my favorite flavors is salt and vinegar. Oh yes, salty, crispy, tangy. Snap, baby! But do the chip companies actually pour vinegar over the potatoes? No, they add flavoring in the form of sodium acetate.

Now a Jordanian researcher has found a very interesting use for this puckering chemical: concrete sealant!

http://www.physorg.com/news105695773.html

Concrete is very porous and breaks down when water enters all those pours, rusting out the steel innards and, during cold weather, freezing, expanding, and cracking the concrete.

Awni Al-Otoom of the Jordan University of Science and Technology coated concrete with sodium acetate. Sodium acetate, normally a crystal, swells when contacting water. Thus when he applied the water, the sodium acetate at once absorbs the water and blocks further entry of those water molecules into the concrete through that pore. Ingenious. When it dries, the crystal dries too, opening the pore and allowing water that got through to evaporate out. The study is detailed in the Aug. 1 issue of the journal Industrial & Engineering Chemistry Research.

This is, of course, of particular timely interest given the dramatic destruction of the bridge in Minneapolis. Was concrete fatigue at fault? Probably not given it was a mostly-steel bridge, but who can say for sure at this time, since there were concrete portions?

So, in the future, you may be able to cross bridges knowing that the flavor of your chips is protecting your ass as you cross.

I wonder if, as you are crossing, you stop and lick the concrete, would it taste like your salt-and-vinegar chips?


Image taken from HERE.

Eat A Cow, Kill The Earth

I never liked cows. I grew up next to a cow pasture, and just down the road from a large dairy farm. They’re nasty, smelly, sluggish beasts. Sure, they’re docile animals, they give us milk, they get carved up to give us all sorts of interesting edible meaty bits. That’s cool. I don’t mind a nice thick burger once in a while, dripping with potentially E. coli-infected juice and swarming with mad cow prions. It’s, you know, yummy. You can’t taste the mad cow if you douse the cooked flesh with plenty of A1 sauce.

But then there are all the studies of cow farts.

Yes, you’ve probably heard about it, those jokes made about silly scientific studies, lab rats like myself shoving pipes up a cow’s derrière to measure the methane output from eating a bucket of feed. All those studies about the contribution of cattle fart methane to the ever-alarming global warming problem (like THIS study). Yes, global warming is real. Every scientist knows it. And every politician knows it, at least those whose political party name doesn’t begin with “R” and end with “epublican.” What is a self-respecting carnivore like me to do? Where’s the beef? I needs my cow flesh, thank you. Get in my belly!

A soon-to-be-published paper in Animal Science Journal sheds a little more light on the problem:

Story: http://www.physorg.com/news103983167.html

As the article says, “A kilogram (2.2 pounds) of beef causes more greenhouse-gas and other pollution than driving for three hours while leaving all the lights on back home, according to a Japanese study.”

Yes, feeding your favorite bovine creates a noxious cloud of methane that winds up wafting up into the atmosphere and trapping solar heat in our world, causing accelerated polar ice melts, entire ice shelves to break off of polar ice caps, the destruction of high mountain glaciers, and alarming ice dams cracking, just to name a few outcomes. Think of it this way: every time a cow “gets the flutters” another few inches of coral bleaches, another chunk of glacier melts, and some poor tropical frog kicks the bucket. And it’s all because you and I had to have beef meatballs on our spaghetti.

Additionally, the process of producing and transporting all that feed and meat adds up too, in emissions due to gasoline and other power sources. From the article: “That one kilo (2.2 pounds) of beef also requires energy equivalent to lighting a 100-watt bulb for nearly 20 days. The energy is needed to produce and transport the animals' feed.”

There are all sorts of other crazy global warming solutions, but most aren’t very realistic beyond having our industry-happy government actually put more restrictions on gas-belching factories and trying to change the sorts of fuels we put in our cars away from the extremely-profitable market of war-ravaged crude oil. These things aren’t likely to happen in a speedy way, either. You don’t like paying a day’s take-home wages for a full tank of gas? Tough. Oil industry execs are laughing at you. So what can we do about the cow fart issue? Short of lighting the farts of every bull and heifer in the world, the best solution would be to stop eating meat entirely. That doesn’t sit well with people like, well, ME, who choose to use our canine teeth.

But there’s a solution for people like me. We don’t have to buy our beef or burgers from mass-market outlets like Safeway or McDonald’s, where the beef comes from cows that had been penned up by the hundreds in horrible conditions, fed cheap, “gassy” foods, slaughtered, frozen, and shipped from as far away as Brazil. You can, instead, invest a little bit of your time to find local stores and organic stores that sell meat produced locally, fed on grass and healthy feed, and most likely leaner and better for you anyhow, with no hormones or antibiotics.

As the PhysOrg.com article says, “A Swedish study in 2003 suggested that organic beef emits 40 percent less greenhouse gases and consumes 85 percent less energy because the animal is raised on grass rather than concentrated feed.”

So, to celebrate this, I’m going to consume some Kosher, non-hormone-injected beef hotdogs tonight. I’m not going to ask what parts of the cow went into them, but I can rest assured that the intestines that are now mashed up with other parts and wrapped in a conveniently-edible tube and put on my bun had 40% less cow farts flowing through them than their mass-raised cousins in Texas.

And when I’m done eating, I’ll be sure to hold my farts in.


Addendum (7/24/07): I just realized my last paragraph was inaccurate. Seems “kosher” hot dogs do not include any of the hind parts of a cow, including the intestines, and thus no natural casings, either. HERE is more info on the Hebrew National hot dogs I ate.


Image taken from HERE.

Dental Delight

Oh, yes, I went to the dentist today. My mouth now tastes of baking soda and fake cherry flavoring.

There’s nothing like having my frickin’ teeth scraped with sharp, metal picks, then having those picks poked down into my oh-so-fragile and tender gums. Did they have to be so rough about it? Were they looking for pearls in there? Most of my “gum scores” were 3 or 4, but there was an occasional 2 or 5 in there, too. Apparently a “2” means “Pretty decent, with little plaque”. A “4” means “You need a lecture about flossing again”, and a “5” means “What the heck do you put in there, raw sugar? Now let’s poke at it some more to make sure it bleeds.”

If you’ve read many of my blog posts, you know I’m a gluttonous freak when it comes to my eating habits, with all the sugar possible. And since I have two small children, my immediate impulse late at night is no longer to brush and floss appropriately, but rather to seek any flat, soft surface upon which to fall unconscious at the soonest possible opportunity. Mornings are likewise even more hectic than ever. So personal tooth hygiene isn’t as high a priority as it should be for me these days.

Anyhow, the last couple years have been pretty stressful, due to the ever-changing nature of my job and the stress of raising young-uns. The result: I clench and grind my teeth at night for the first time since I was a teenager. Now my dentist tells me I’ve cracked or lost four fillings. They have to be replaced. Oh boy. I’m not alone. Apparently 70% of dental procedures are replacements to existing repairs. AND I have to get a mouth guard to wear at night.

Can you sense my mounting excitement? Do you feel my sheer electric joy reaching through the computer screen to you? This means I have the pleasure of multiple return trips to my dental office, during my very busy work hours, to enjoy the aroma of burning tooth enamel as they grind and drill their way into my precious ivories and put silver fillings in.

Why silver and not the natural-looking resin type of filling, the sort that is UV-light hardened? Because the resin isn’t strong enough to take my brutish clenching and grinding.

A recent article reveals why, and what can be done about it:
http://www.physorg.com/news96896284.html

Apparently the resin can contain special ions that help prevent decay and strengthen the structure of the tooth. One ion source is called dicalcium phosphate anhydrous, or DCPA. The problem is that DCPA particles are structurally weak, leading to breakdown of the filling itself. Now researchers at the American Dental Association’s Paffenbarger Research Center have found a way to use much smaller DCPA particles (20 times smaller using nanoparticle technology), which increases the efficiency of ion release to the teeth. This means much less DCPA needs to be used, which therefore means the resin filling is stronger.

But the new technology won’t come in time for me. My mouth will now contain silver (in addition to lead).

And what about that baking soda / cherry flavoring? As soon as I left my dentist I went by a fast food joint, washed my mouth out with sugary, acidic soda, and munched on a meaty sandwich filled with sweetened barbeque sauce and enclosed in a processed, sugary bun. Mmm, mmm!


A somewhat related addendum: HERE is today's CNN article about a recent study that shows, generally, Americans of all ages from children to seniors have better teeth. However, one alarm is that tooth decay has actually increased among infants, suggesting people may be feeding too much of my sort of food to their young children and not making sure the kids brush well. Though I trash my own body, at least I’m happy I feed good food to my own infants, brush their teeth every night, and give them fluoride. Do as I say, not as I do, kids!

Another Frickin’ Addendum: HERE is a cool world map related to dental care, by nation.

Sweet Technology

Despite my admittedly bad eating habits, my wife and I do a really good job of making our kids eat healthily. We feed them mainly organic food, with as much vegetables and fruit we can get them to consume. We keep them away from processed food, and never give them fast food. We also limit the amount of sugar they consume – no colas or candy, and almost no desserts or even fruit juices. Of course, if you've read any of my blog, you know I'm a gluttonous freak when it comes to just about any food that's bad for me. Sooner or later the kids will catch on to my hypocrisy, but so far I'm in the clear. I've been known to munch cookies behind pantry doors, just out of my kids' sight. "What are you eating, Dada?" one may say. "Oh, nothing, son!" I reply, crumbs flying.

Tonight I and my family attended a little party to honor a friend of ours. There was no hiding, as folks all around us were shoving chocolate cake slathered with icing down their throats, and washing it down with punch. We finally gave in and fed a piece of cake to each of our adorably healthy children, but with the best of intentions we made them wash it down with water. Moments later, though, a friend innocently gave them some of that bright red punch to drink. We couldn't very well deny them what they had already started drinking. They wanted more. We were cruel and said no. Nonetheless, the amount of sugar they had consumed kick-started them into Nitro mode, and they spent the next hour running around the meeting room. Luckily, it was a beautiful day, and the same friend who gave them the punch paid penance by baby-sitting them on the lawn and running back and forth with them. After yet another half hour at a neighboring playground, the kids were about ready to crash land.

I thought to myself, "If only we could harness sugar in our technology the same way my kids do." Every living thing converts glucose into energy, after all.

Well imagine my surprise when I got back to my computer and read that my wish had come true:

http://www.physorg.com/news94043039.html

Researchers at Saint Louis University in Missouri have developed a fuel cell battery that runs on virtually any sugar source. Their findings were described today at the 233rd national meeting of the American Chemical Society. That's right, sugar-holics like myself can now extend our addiction to our technology. The battery contains natural enzymes used to convert sugar into electricity, leaving only water as a byproduct. And it's all biodegradable, unlike metal batteries which contain heavy metals. Right now the researchers are testing a sugar-powered calculator battery, but intend to extend the technology to cell phones and even laptops and other portable electronics.

Oops, is your cell phone running out of "juice"? No problem, just inject a little flat soda into it (which I have on-hand at just about any moment, just as long as it isn't carbonated, which harms the charge). Out in the woods and can't power your iPod? Just find some tree sap. Camcorder battery low and you're at a party? Don't give the punch to your kids, put it in the camcorder instead. Any sugar source will work – really! Plain ol' sugar water is best, though.

Imagine the potential for economically-depressed areas, emergency situations, or military uses.

So some day you may be walking through the mall when your battery starts dying. Just walk up to your local vendor and say, "I'll take a Pepsi. Make it a medium size, please, and add a little extra for my cell phone." Just don't give any to my kids, or you'll be the one babysitting them for the next couple hours.

Alphabet Soup - Micro-Scale!

I can't remember when I first tried alphabet soup, but I'm sure I must have been thrilled. Here it is, food you can play with! Spell your name. Make up words with the letters in your spoon. Learn your alphabet. All at the same time! I'm sure I didn't really care that it was cheap, mass-produced pasta in chicken soup. My son, who is 2 ½, has pretty well learned the alphabet song and gotten a good hold on eating soup, so I think it's time to introduce him to alphabet soup, too. Besides, if he has some, it gives me a good excuse to eat it, too (sort of like getting to play with toys again. Yay!).

Now researchers have produced a different sort of alphabet soup, but not the sort you eat. Scientists at UCLA have used nanotechnology methods to produce tiny letters, too small to see with the naked eye, which can be visualized using microscopes:

http://www.physorg.com/news93700449.html

What's really cool is they can make the letters in different fonts, and, using the miracle of fluorescence chemistry, make them glow in many different colors under certain light conditions. As written in the article, "The research will be published March 29 in the Journal of Physical Chemistry C, where it will be illustrated on the cover." Called "lithoparticles", these little letters are so small they can fit inside cells. Can you spell N-E-A-T-O? But it doesn't stop with letters. These chemists can make other shapes, including triangles, donuts, crosses, and others. One of their goals is to make complex "lock-and-key" systems useful for making nano-motors. In an apparent fit of Scrabble-fever, the researchers got cheeky and spelled out the name UCLA with the lithoparticles using laser tweezers (a nifty method of using lasers to manipulate tiny particles, cells, or tissue bits). Man, talk about geeky…. I wish I could play!

Cocoa For Life

If you've read this blog at all, you know I'm not exactly Richard Simmons when it comes to my food choices and activity level (but then, who really wants to be Richard Simmons!). Just this morning I ordered a hot Chai tea. The barista asked: "Would you like this with non-fat milk?" "No," I replied, "I'll take all the fat. Do you have whole milk?" She nodded, but then said with a gleam in her eye, "We also have half-and-half." "Half-and-half it is!" I replied. Ah, foamy goodness! Some day my arteries will finish clogging and I'll kick the bucket, but it'll be a milk bucket, by gum!

Yes, when it comes to food I'm a glutton. Give me all the fat, sugar, caffeine, and assorted other goblins of the food industry. Preservatives and artificial flavors? Sure, bring 'em on, my gut can take it.

So when I see studies that show actual benefits from what is typically considered to be "trash" foods, I make a point of sharing it with all of you. Spread the news, I say, and let's party together. Lump into this category stories like the health benefits of caffeine and caffeinated drinks like coffee, as well as red wine, and red meat (re: Atkins diet).

Now we can add chocolate to that list. A study came out in the last month which shows strong health benefits of cocoa:

Story, with links to journal abstracts:
http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/healthnews.php?newsid=65046

The study compared the Kuna Indians living on the San Blas islands of Panama to a similar population on the Panamanian mainland. Members on the mainland died from typical rates of cardiovascular disease, cancer, and diabetes (83, 68, and 24 people, respectively, per 1000), while the Kuna were far less likely to die of these diseases (9, 4, and 6 people per 1000). Why? One thing that was different between the two populations was that the Kuna drink a remarkable 40 cups of hot chocolate a day! But this isn't Swiss Miss cocoa. This is a lightly-processed cocoa, which still contains all the flavinoids. Flavinoids are natural antioxidants found in fruits and vegetables, and it turns out cocoa is one of the richest sources, particularly of a flavinoid called epicatechin. The authors of the study carefully investigated this, first performing population studies, then confirming the benefits of that particular flavinoid on artery function. One author actually goes so far as to suggest epicatechin be reclassified as a vitamin.

So should I run out and munch on a handful of Hershey's bars each day? No, sadly, since the chocolate processing takes out most of the flavinoids. I might die happy, but piano-sized caskets are hard to come by. Already food companies are looking into this study to make healthier products. You'd better believe I've got my eyes (and mouth) open and waiting for their appearance.

In the meantime, perhaps I should at least go with regular milk in my Chai tea, eh?

The Beer Launcher

Need experience catching metallic, flying projectiles? Afraid to miss even a minute of Desperate Housewives? Thirsty for a beer, but that long walk from the couch to the kitchen gets you down? Well fling those blues away! Now you, too, can enjoy the simple delight of the Beer Launcher:

Story:
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070308/ap_on_fe_st/beer_tossing_fridge

Video:
http://www.metacafe.com/watch/445498/robotic_beer_launching_refrigerator/

Official website:
http://www.duke.edu/~jwc13/beerlauncher.html

Command your new robotic frig to toss a beer from up to 20 feet away. Your can of carbonated brew will be lifted from the cool insides of a mini-frig, rolled off of a loaded magazine into a throwing arm, and catapulted right to your waiting hands. Quench your thirst, wow your friends, and get stinking drunk, all while sitting on your ass in the comfort of your La-Z-Boy.

But wait, there's more! Order in the next 10 minutes and you'll also receive a remote-control keychain. With the click of a button, this modified car-fob commands your Beer Launcher to load a deliciously cold beverage, adjust the angle and direction of the launching arm, and lob a 12 oz elixir to you and your pals. Fire! Pop. Fizz. Glug glug. Ah!!! Airborne alcohol never tasted so good!

Order now!

Get Your Fiber From Coffee

Ummm! I love the smell of coffee wafting through the morning-time hallways as dreary-eyed employees mumble and bump their way zombie-like through the labs and offices. After a couple cups, they're wide-eyed and ready to make millions for the company again. One "perky" fellow I know practically lives on the stuff. A self-confessed "coffee snob," he drinks this super-concentrated stuff called "cold extract coffee" which is probably the closest thing to legal speed a person could find. Juan Valdez and his mule Conchita must be so proud!

Sadly, I cannot share in this passion, as I find the taste too bitter, even with loads of sugar and milk. My caffeine intake is primarily Pepsi. A shame, since I live in the Great Northwest where coffee rules supreme and every street corner seems to have an espresso kiosk. If the Northwest could have a statue of it's patron god, it would surely be a gigantic figure of Kurt Cobain holding an over-sized coffee bean, in Seattle, of course. Dancing fountains of Java would shoot out of golden espresso nozzles into crystal coffee pots.

Sure, coffee and its caffeine content can have some potential bad side effects, like keeping you up at night, mild hypertension, or shaking hands, but all the medical studies have pointed to far more beneficial aspects, mostly due to the caffeine and antioxidant content. This wondrous list of studied effects include: lower risk of diabetes, Parkinson's, liver cirrhosis, colon cancer, and even cavities. Your mood is elevated, thus an aid against depression. By drinking it, you can treat headaches, manage asthma, increase your energy level, and improve insulin sensitivity and glucose metabolism.

A recent study has added a new, beneficial side effect: Fiber!

http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2007/02/070226095451.htm

Yes, all you mocha drinkers, now you can sip away (or gulp if you dare) as much as your little nerves can take, because brewed coffee has been found to have more fiber per volume than other common drinks, including wine or even orange juice (somehow I don't think Metamucil was compared), at 1.8 grams per cup. I did a little math. The recommended daily allowance of fiber for most adult men is 38 grams. For most adult women it is 25 grams. That means that a cup of coffee contains 4.7% or 7.2% of your daily allowance, that's 21 cups for men or 14 cups for women a day to reach 100%.

So drink up, me hardies, and give a toast of the ol' bean to your health! Even your colon will thank you!

African-American Scientists: George Washington Carver

February is Black History Month. To celebrate this, I am going to feature an African American Scientist every Thursday this month.

My first choice is probably the most historically famous: George Washington Carver, a chemist, food scientist, botanist, and agriculturist.

Here is the Wikipedia biography:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/George_Washington_Carver

Carver was born into slavery in what is now known as Diamond, Missouri, most likely in 1864. His slave owner was a German immigrant named Moses Carver, who traded for George. As George Carver is later quoted, "When I was a child, my owner saw what he considered to be a good business deal and immediately accepted it. He traded me off for a horse." Baby George, his mother Mary, and a sister were later kidnapped from Moses Carver by Confederate raiders. By the time Moses was able to get George back, George had whooping cough, and his mother and sister were most likely dead. Soon slavery was abolished, and Moses Carver and his wife raised George and his brother Jim as their own children and taught them to read and write. Eventually George took his adopted father's last name as his own, by choice. You hear plenty of stories about abusive slave owners, but this makes me think that Moses Carver may have been the exception.

Because of his race, George met with difficulties in attending grade school, but didn't let that stop him from a good education. As Carver is quoted, "Education is the key to unlock the golden door of freedom." He moved from school to school, eventually graduating high school in Minneapolis, Kansas.

Carver also faced the same difficulty getting accepted into colleges, but was eventually successful. He started as the second African-American to attend Simpson College, in Iowa, but eventually moved to what was to become Iowa State College, as their first African-American student. It was there that he started using the middle name Washington, since another student had the same first and last name. After graduation, Carver stayed on as their first African-American Master's student, then faculty member. Carver eventually changed jobs to teach at the five-year old Tuskegee University, where he remained for 47 years until his death in 1943.

If you've ever heard of George Washington Carver, chances are the things you took away from the lesson were that Carver was an early Black scientist and that he invented all sorts of wonderful and exotic uses for the lowly peanut. Why peanuts? Because all the cotton farming down South had depleted nitrogen from the fields. Peanuts and other legumes replenished the nitrogen, so Carver encouraged farmers to plant them. But there were only so many uses for the plant (salted peanuts, anyone?). So to help all those farmers that had planted a nearly unmarketable crop, he invented lots of recipes and products for them and helped market them.

What was he reputed to have invented? Carver developed between one-hundred and three-hundred applications for peanuts and 118 for sweet potatoes, (http://www.npg.si.edu/edu/brush/guide/unit2/carver.html) including bleach, metal polish, paper, plastic, glue for postage stamps, printer's ink, plant milk, cooking oils, flour, instant coffee, mayonnaise, meat tenderizer, cheese, dyes, shaving cream, shoe polish, synthetic rubber, talcum powder, wood stains, varnish, soap, vinegar and cooking sauces. He made similar investigations into uses for cowpeas, soybeans and pecans. Also he authored three patents (one for cosmetics, and two for paints and stains). Now, I'd like to know exactly how a frickin' peanut can be turned into some of these products, but apparently he made it happen – and therein lies his talent. He also invented a form of peanut butter, but don't start thinking Jiff or Peter Pan peanut butter. It was more like the oily, gritty, unsugared organic sh*t you get at health stores. My wife buys that stuff to feed to our kids. I refuse to eat it. But apparently his was good enough to launch the invention.

Unfortunately, Carver was not a model scientist in terms of his practice. For one thing, he didn't keep a lab book, and kept all his recipes in his head, refusing to write them down. That means almost none of his inventions can be repeated and are therefore lost to time. Pretty sad. He wouldn't write down lists of inventions, either, which is why there is confusion about exactly how many he came up with. He also claimed God gave him his ideas for plant products. He hated teaching and was very bad at administrative work, preferring to dedicate himself to research (which he was eventually able to do). He had his own 2-room lab, much to the jealousy of other faculty, and lived (get this!) on the second floor of a woman's dormitory, accessing his room via a fire escape. He partnered with presidents and captains of industry to develop a number of novel uses, but almost never sought to capitalize off of his endeavors, often giving his advice and expertise freely. No one can say exactly how many of our plant-derived products came from his inspiration.

Carver died at age 76 after a fall down some stairs. He willed his entire savings to Tuskegee University, founding a fund in his name. He has since become an icon of American culture, a symbol of early African-American triumph over slavery and discrimination, and a pioneer of American science.

"Most people search high and wide for the keys to success. If they only knew, the key to their dreams lie within." -- George Washington Carver

You Gotta Love Tuberous Spices

If you read this blog much, you can readily detect my obsession with exotic foods. If you know me in person, the evidence is plain to see.

One of my favorite foods is Indian food. No, not fry bread, as in Native American Indians, I'm talking the sort from India. It's so freakin' spicy it's like a party in my mouth. So many of the dishes feature spices you simply can't find in your neighborhood diner (yes, old-fashioned diners still exist here and there). My favorite Indian dishes are vindaloos. Vindaloo is a type of curry, with lamb or chicken and a yummy, spicy marinade sauce.

It turns out that my usually horrible eating habits may not be so horrible, in this case. According to an article in February's _Scientific American_, turmeric, a spice used in curries, has a number of potentially beneficial health effects:

http://www.sciam.com/article.cfm?chanID=sa006&colID=1&articleID=131CED4F-E7F2-99DF-3C84BB412D1D3B51

You've got to love a spice made from ground-up roots. Turmeric (which is yellow-brown colored) is what is used to colorize yellow mustard and chicken broth, but its main use is as a spice in curries. Sometimes it is used as a cheap replacement for saffron. For thousands of years ancient Indian (Vedic) medicine has used it as an anti-inflammatory agent. For the last couple decades, though, modern medicine has increasingly studied it, focusing mainly on a constituent of turmeric called curcumin. It may help fight rheumatoid arthritis as an anti-inflammatory, battle Alzheimer's plaques, block hormones tied to colon cancer, reduce the size and number of colorectal polyps, and improve cognitive ability. Cool. One of my favorite foods may help my horrible, horrible memory, fight off a family history of arthritis, and prevent butt cancer.

As far as fighting cancer though (including colon cancer, myeloid leukemia, and breast cancer), researchers have found some negative effects, too, where it has stopped the mechanisms that prevent cancer. So my colon can't leap for joy just yet.

Caffeinated Donuts

I'm a total caffeine freak. Unfortunately, I don't like the taste of coffee. Too bitter for my sweet little pallet. I drink tea, but I'm usually too lazy to go about making it and letting it cool, and because of my "sweet little pallet" I wind up loading it up with sugar – supersaturating it, in fact, because it's very hot. So what do I do? Cola. A cold Pepsi first thing in the morning. Another around lunch. And I'm not above getting one for supper, either. Yes, it's pitiful, but I can't help myself. You think that's bad, you should have seen my cola habits as a teenager! Chocolate, too, has a good caffeine value for my buck.

But I always feel a bit self-conscious, especially when I'm carrying around a can of Pepsi at 8 AM. No, there's no rule against drinking cola first thing in the morning, but it's like drinking booze in the morning – it's just considered a little weird. If only I could consume something more "breakfast-y" and get my recommended daily dose of caffeine, like others do with coffee.

Well now a scientist has solved my dilemma – caffeinated pastry!

http://carolinanewswire.com/news/News.cgi?database=1news.db&command=viewone&id=2269&op=t

Dr. Robert Bohannon, a molecular scientist living in Durham, NC, has developed what he calls Buzz Donuts™ and Buzzed Bagels™, pastries that contain the caffeine equivalent of one or two cups of coffee. Using the skills of flavoring experts, he was able to overcome the bitterness of the caffeine. Now he's marketing his perfected pastries to companies like Krispy Kreme and Starbucks. (His disappointingly bland webpage: www.buzzdonuts.com).

Hey, Doc, powder me up some of your deep-fried rings of caffeinated dough, please! I'll take a dozen!

Science Workshops and Conferences, Part II (eating out)

You won't find me saying many great things about my evil global biotech company on this blog, but this post is an exception.

Attending conferences and workshops is often difficult because I have to deal with being away from my family, travelling, long hours, and catching up with piles of work when I get back. But one of the great joys of attending conferences and workshops is the food.

As you may recal from previous posts, my eating habits aren't exactly Weight Watcher's. My lunch a couple days ago, for instance, was composed of an airport hot dog with mayo and mustard, washed down with a Pepsi. Under normal conditions, I'm often too busy even to eat lunch, and supper is often eaten in stages as I and my wife feed our kids.

But when I travel on the company's dime, I eat like a friggin' king. Before you gasp in horror at my apparent lack of corporate responsibility, please note there is a travel policy which limits how much can be spent on meals. For a city as large and expensive as the one I'm in right now, that limit is $60 per day per person. Since eating out is my only option, costs can really add up. In large cities, a plate of good food can cost $20. Still, $60 goes a long way.

I'm not a breakfast person, and lunch is usually just a sandwich, so that leaves a gourmet budget for supper. We're talking appetizers, fancy drinks, large dishes of exotic food, and a decadent dessert. "Would you like a refill on that drink, sir?" You betcha, Pierre, and don't forget the little umbrella! And since I tend to eat with likeminded colleagues, the table becomes a gourmet smourgesbourg of monumental proportions.

Tonight was a meditteranean feast worthy of Alexander the Great. Yesterday: all I could eat of high-quality sushi. Domo arigato, evil biotech company!

Go Eat Like An Ape

I have to admit I don't eat my suggested portion sizes of fruits and vegetables each day. Well, maybe some days, but I don't think they count if they've been battered, deep fried, and slathered with gravy, then washed down with Pepsi. Do Jolly Roger candies count as "fruit"? At the very least I should eat the sort of well-rounded diet I force my young children to eat.

I could do better for myself. I remember when a coworker of mine went on a very successful diet a couple years ago. He lost a zillion pounds and has kept it off. Just watching him it seemed to me that his diet consisted of constantly eating bananas and apples. The sugar ants loved his office (which is now mine. And, yes, they still poke around in there, no doubt salivating over fond memories of fruit). Apparently my coworker also supplemented with large quantities of vegetables. I remember thinking he ate like a friggin' ape.

Well, some folks in England put that very concept to a test:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/magazine/6248975.stm

A dietician and BBC producers set up a tent next to the ape exhibit at an English zoo, then found 9 suckers – I mean "test subjects" – to sit in the tent for 11 days eating a balanced diet of nothing but raw fruit and vegetables with occasional nuts and honey, similar to the apes, plus a tad bit of cooked fish (to simulate the hunter-gatherer lifestyle of our ancestors), then sat back and watched what the effects would be, physically and mentally. The producers expected the test subjects to be bothered (making for good film), but in fact, after the caffeine withdrawal wore off, they were quite content and had more food than they could eat.

One bloke had hardly eaten fruit or vegetables his entire life. Boy was he surprised, but he learned to like it and has since changed his eating habits, like most of the test subjects. In fact, on average, the contestants significantly lowered their cholesterol and blood pressure, had more energy, and even lost weight.

The only drawback, according to the producer: "There was a lot of farting going on."

So the next time someone says you eat like a friggin' ape, just smile and say "Thank you. I do try to eat healthily." Then give them a good fart.

I'm Seein' Sugarplums

Yep, it’s that time of the year again, when I can put aside the worries of my lab bench and the greed of my evil global biotech company and instead fill my head with dancing sugarplums and the good of mankind.

Okay, I admit, I’ve never had a sugarplum. Probably wouldn’t recognize one if you shoved it in my mouth, let alone be able to picture one dancing. I’m guessing it looks like a prune coated with sugar, and that doesn’t sound so good. But I’ll assume it’s some form of decadent food, which I am definitely into. As for the good of mankind part, I’m all over it (as I do a great deal of volunteer work for my community).

Okay, I just found a link describing sugarplums and a modern sugarplum recipe. Enjoy. Maybe I’ll make them this year.

Being an atheist, my personal concept of Christmas isn’t exactly traditional. Though I am willing to believe there was a Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, I don’t believe for a moment Jesus was from a virgin birth, or that he was God-incarnate (since I don’t believe in a god, either), or any of the Jesus miracles. Like most Americans (I imagine), Christmas for me is more about having a time to spend with family, give and receive pretty gifts, and, oh yeah, eat lots of decadent food. And as the years go on I find myself less involved in the surface niceties. For example: my lovely wife and I got each other a little something. I got her a field book for identifying birds. We had a decorative plastic bag with tissue paper that another gift had come in. With a shrug, I wrapped the book with the tissue paper, put it in the bag, and handed it to her to open. She was pleased. Then she walked to the bedroom to get her gift to me, wrapped it in the exact same paper and bag, and gave it to me to open (a wonderful silvery Christmas ornament). I was also very pleased. Who cares that we reused wrapping? Call us efficient. We’ll spend our decorative energies on stuff for the kids. Someday, when the kids are grown and we have more time and energy (yeah, right!) maybe we’ll get back into the decorative aspects.

Given the occasion, I'd like to thank all of you who read this blog. I hope you find my chatterings interesting. Please leave comments so I can see your footprints in the snow (and my thanks to those who do).

Merry Christmas to all! Have a sugarplum on me, and if you see visions of them dancing, I suggest seeking help.