Monday, March 12, 2007

Sleep Problems, Part I

Come, Sleep; O Sleep! the certain knot of peace.
The baiting-place of wit, the balm of woe,
The poor man's wealth, the prisoner's release…

-- excerpt from "Sleep", by Sir Philip Sidney

Ah, Sleep! Without it the "knot of peace" becomes a knot in my back. Trust me. It hurts.

I get too little of the "balm of woe" these days. We really can't get much done while the kids are awake, so I spend late hours most nights catching up with things. Sometimes I even go in to work. If we want to relax and decompress, it happens in that time, too, typically with a movie or TV show. Usually I'm up until midnight or 1 AM. The kids still wake up most nights, too. Since I'm the one most likely to hear them, I'm the one most likely to get up and soothe them back to sleep. I'm f*ckin' tired. Maybe I should just sleep at work.

A couple of studies were released last week regarding sleep. The first one, from the Journal of Family Psychology and a researcher named Boergers, shows that children with sleep problems negatively affect the sleep patterns of their parents:

Boergers found that parents with sleepless children are more likely to have daytime drowsiness, more likely to be impatient with their children or spouse, and be less productive at work and home.

Really?? Let us please pause a moment to tilt our heads, take a deep breath, then utter a deep and sarcastic DUHHH! I rate this study right up there with the one that found people who go to bars with country music are more likely to be depressed. Come on! Is this what our government money is funding these days, stupid ass studies to confirm that parents with sleepless kids are friggin' zombies? Hey, Boergers, here's a sleep study for ya: Does standing over you while banging cymbals and screaming the Star Spangled Banner keep you awake at night? How can you be sure? I think you should commission a study and let me help!

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