Saturday, May 5, 2007

Hamster Shredder

Are you afraid of identity thieves, but the enormous electric bill from operating a standard paper shredder gets you down? Do you get a thrill out of making small, furry rodents do your bidding? Wouldn't you love to see your bills get sh*t on? Well now you can shred your blues away with the amazing "Hamster Shredder":

http://www.tomballhatchet.com/hamstershredder.html

See other images HERE and HERE.

No, the Hamster Shredder doesn't shred hamsters. Instead, utilize the endless supply of hamster energy by having your adorable little "honey bear" run in an exercise wheel hooked up to a paper shredder on top of its cage. The wheel engages the shredding mechanism, which in turn turns your hellish tax documents into harmless shredded paper! Look, Ma, no electricity! What's more, in a clever, Flintstones-esque manner, your old bills become the bedding for your enslaved pet. Just in case your documents are so sensitive that someone would actually try to reconstruct them, now you can get your revenge by making them clean off the rodent crap, too!

Amaze your friends! Amuse your kids! Be the envy of corrupt corporations and military leaders everywhere. It's endless fun! Order your Hamster Shredder now!

** Hamster not included. No animals were harmed in the making of this blog post.

UPDATE (5/17/07): Now there's a new and improved design! See the updated Hamster Shredder website! http://www.tomballhatchet.com/hamstershredder1.html

5 comments:

Maggie said...

You're a riot.

Anonymous said...

That is too cool! My husband was complaining about my home office shredder this past weekend, as it only shreds 3 pages at a time, and I had a 200-page report to dump. Wish I had a series of these hooked up, or maybe a cat one! Would have solved the problem and made litter box cleaning much more fun!

Anonymous said...

Yes, me again (anon. from last posting). Forgot to ask the ANGRY LAB RAT if he thought about going into recycling in his lab, as I'd be happy to contract out all that paper shredding that my clients seem to want for their "oh so confidential" data.

Just a thought on how you could help support your blogging!

Angry Lab Rat said...

Alas, "Anon", my evil global biotech company already contracts to have one of those shredder trucks come by every so often to shred all our secrets. And, as evil as they are, my company is really good about recycling.

Thanks for the thought, though. If you have any further thoughts, send it to me in the mail and I'll let my hamster make some bedding of it.

The Shredding Alliance said...

Haha that's genious, all we need now is giant hamsters! What criminal would think to look in the hamster cage for personal details, it's a brilliant idea, and in that unlikely event the hamster could be trained to attack. No longer do we need to fear identity fraud!